Where Am I Looking for Security?

Deuteronomy 33:12 About Benjamin he said: “Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders.”

I love the picture in this verse of the one who is LOVED by the Lord, living in safety, shielded by the Lord, resting between His shoulders. But all too often, my life is not reflective of this picture of security – I don’t live this truth.

Too often my experience is insecurity.

A few years ago, the Lord had me on a journey finally really doing battle for security. It lasted months, and in many ways I am still learning. I’ve found the roots of insecurity in my search for validation of my worth and value from the world and those around me. I want acceptance, so I think I need to earn it.

I know I am not alone in this. From childhood we learn expect the world outside us to reflect security, value, worth back to us.

If I’m looking to something for my value, my worth, my identity, I’d better make sure it’s something that’s going to accurately reflect where my security comes from.

I am learning that Jesus (who He is and what He says about me) is the only safe place for me to look for my value, worth and identity. Jesus is the only accurate reflection, the only source of security I can trust.

One thing I’ve learned in the search for security: Our focus on externals is a big trap.

HOW HAS FOCUS ON EXTERNAL THINGS CREATED AREAS OF INSECURITY FOR YOU?

I think you can begin to see some of these things by thinking about what you were complimented or criticized for when you were a child.

If you were criticized for something as a child, it makes sense that you’d grow up with that as an area of insecurity – something that makes you feel bad about yourself.

What areas did you feel criticized for, things about you that didn’t measure up? For me, this was my appearance (no one in my immediate family ever said this, but I grew up feeling like my sister was “the pretty one” and I was “the smart one.” Unfair to both of us.) Also, my weight – looking back, I was not overweight, but I was the biggest member of my family, built curvier and sturdier than my mom, stepmom or sisters. Add to that the fact that my mom, stepmom, and sisters were all chronic dieters and it was a recipe for insecurity.

Does it seem strange to you that we might develop insecurity about things we’re complimented for? Sometimes the areas we receive positive feedback about can become needs and feed drives. Little girls who receive a lot of attention for being pretty can begin to believe their appearance is the most important thing about them, and can become unhealthy in areas related to their bodies and appearance. Children who are complimented for their grades and achievements can become unhealthily driven to succeed.

What are the areas you were complimented on as a child, areas where you learned to find security? For me, this was being obedient, a good girl. Being a good student, an achiever, a pleaser – I did what was expected of me, and to this day the feeling of being “unapproved” by authority figures is a giant insecurity trigger.

What would it look like for us to let go of everything for which we are criticized and complimented? What if instead of looking to the world to affirm our worth or value, we looked to the one who made us?

What if we began to listen to His whisper to each of us that we are beloved of the Lord? Can you see yourself resting between His shoulders?

Deuteronomy 33:12 About Benjamin he said: “Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders.”

 

 

Photo used in title image by Rab Fyfe on Unsplash

 

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